1. Failing to think beyond the wedding
Some couples get so wrapped up in the wedding festivities that they fail to comprehend what they’re getting themselves into. You’re married. The party was probably a lot of fun, but it was one day. Now, you have to live together, get along, and form your own family. Enjoy the wedding planning and the afterglow of your big day – from watching the video to reminiscing with friends – but keep the big picture in your head at all times. - oh yes, think a lot about this lately. Will I be able to be a good wife? Insyallah=)
2. Trying to change your spouse
Presumably, you married your spouse because you are in love with him or her. If that’s the case, then there’s no good reason for changing your spouse. Frankly, most adults don’t drastically change, so your best bet is to accept your spouse and love him or her for the ways he or she is unique and different and not in spite of those things. Trying to change your spouse will only hurt his or her feelings and damage your marriage. - can't agree more. I'm changing myself to be skinner though :P
3. Getting off on the wrong foot with your in-laws
If the damage has already been done, do whatever you can to improve the relationship you have with your in-laws. Be the first to extend the olive branch because the only person who gets hurt when you fight with the in-laws is your spouse, who feels caught in the middle. - so far we are good=) and pray will be that way til end.
4. Fighting over silly stuff
Every married person has argued with his or her spouse over something that seems inane to outsiders – from the notorious cap left off the toothpaste to underwear left on the doorknob. Save your arguments for more important subjects. Let these pet peeves remain as simple pet peeves. Honestly, if the worst thing your spouse does is leave his dirty socks on the floor, you should consider yourself lucky. - huhu, should learn to be more patient. I'm kinda not in that position lately.
5. Acting like you’re still singleNow is the time to grow up. Hanging out with your friends all night was all right when you were a single person with no one waiting for you at home. As a married person, there are behaviors that are no longer appropriate. You know what’s right and what’s wrong, so just do the right thing. - this one for you dude!
6. Rushing into having children
Some couples don’t give themselves enough time to be married to each other. If you can wait to have children, you should consider it because you’ll never have this time alone again. Once children arrive, they will have to be the focus of your attention. Your heart certainly has room for children and a spouse, but you should spoil one another while you can. - but we want fast! haha! hello I'm 27!
7. Going into debt
Starting off your marriage with bills you can’t afford is a terrible beginning. It’s an additional strain on your relationship that you can’t afford. If you are already in debt, make a plan for getting rid of it. Stay on budget, get your finances in order, and you’ll probably fight less. If nothing else, you’ll sleep better at night. - stay on budget, stay on budget, stay on budget NOT!
8. Having unrealistic expectations about marriage
If you think marriage is always a walk in the park, you have another thing coming. There will be hard times. It takes a while to get the hang of living with this other person and making the relationship work. Don’t think that the problems you had before you walked down the aisle are simply going to disappear because you’re married. They won’t. Some problems never will go away. It’s how you deal with them that counts. - yes will rmmber this! sometimes yes I do have this irrational beliefs.
9. Making decisions without consulting your spouse
There are two people in your relationship. When you were single you might have made decisions about where to go after work, what vacations to take, how to spend your money, without discussing it with anyone. Now, however, your decisions have an impact on your spouse, too. He or she has a right to have input in these decisions. - I already considered him now=)
10. Abandoning your sex life
Marriage does not have to mean the end to good sex. It is part of your job as married people to maintain your sexual health, keep things interesting, and make sure you and your spouse are satisfied. When problems do arise, you should address them and do what you can to improve the situation. - ok no comment. we'll see how. haha!